“You should have asked!”

Men who need to be told to help around the house aren’t taking full responsibility for themselves. This is a problem.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

A man should never respond to a household problem with “You should have told me!”, but instead should say “I’m sorry I didn’t notice or act when I should have. This is my fault, as well.”

Even to think of it as a man helping with the housework is a problem, since it implies the woman is the executive house project manager who bears ultimate responsibility for the house. This means if something goes wrong, as in the comic, the man gets angry at his wife for failing to keep the house in order, as if it were solely up to her. He might say ‘you should have asked!’, as if he had no responsibility to keep track, as if he were a kind of domestic employee rather than half of a shared household.

Essayist, former scientist, trans woman. Striving for actionable methods of peaceful revolution — relationships, community, mutual aid, subsistence, science.

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